Well, I feel abnormal right now. Haha. I did not pass my board exam. Knowing myself, I should still be crying right now and feel like as if the whole world is down on me. Surprisingly,  I am not crying and I am as calm as a baby sleeping. Is it because I have prepared myself from this news since I entered college? haha..

Thanks to those who prayed for me to pass. Thanks to those who boost my moral and convinced me to take the exam. Thanks to those who believed in me especially my family who never gave up on me.

Thanks to you Almighty God and St. Jude Thaddeus for giving me wisdom and strength to answer those questions and for making me a stronger and better person now.

I know, in Your own time I will get that title, Electronics Engineer.

Thank you because you already helped  me get a job.

Congratulations to all my friends who passed and to other board passers as well. To those who failed like me, cheer up! It’s not yet the end of the world. Don’t forget that you already have a degree in ECE. There’s a next time. God bless!

Well. Here I write again. Honestly, I don’t know how and where to start. So many things and issues are bothering me lately. I have been so disturbed and no matter how hard I try, I can’t find a way out of all these thoughts running in my mind.

First, this whole month of October is a month  I don’t ever want to experience ever again. I got sick, so is my niece, my sisters and my boyfriend. I am so stressed until now actually, a little bit. I had some anxiety attacks as well. They said it’s all because I was too nervous because of the board examination I took last weekend. Is it? I don’t think so.  I must admit I was nervous about it, I am actually worried what will happen to me or how will I face my future if I fail that exam. It means a lot to me you know, though I know right from th very start that it would be a miracle if I pass. Now, I am preparing and making myself believe that everything will be okay soon whether I get my license as an Electronics Engineer or not. Thanks a lot for my ever supportive  and loving family for not pressuring me and for giving me their assurance that I already made them proud of me when I finally get my degree earlier than they expected.

Second, I can’t explain why I always lost my things. I have already lost five cellular phones. I thought I have already graduated from being careless. Good things it’s a not a phone I lost this time. Just the wallet with my money where I used to keep my phone. Funny, huh? I hope nothing else will follow these incidents.

Third, I’m kinda caught in a situation where I need to choose between my boyfriend and forgiven friend. I don’t know how to call her. Okay a friend. We had some really not so good issues in the past. We reconciled. I believe we are already okay but that’s exactly the problem. Me and her being OKAY. My boyfriend doesn’t want me to be okay with her again. Well, they have their own issues but I don’t intended myself to be involved with them actually. I don’t want to be anybody’s enemy. I just want to have a peaceful life. On second thought, I cannot blame my boyfriend for disliking her but the thing is I just cannot let good all times be forgotten. After all, everybody deserves a second chance.

Fourth issue is I am actually missing the friends I used to have during my college days. Unfortunately, this “friends” left deep scars in my heart. I am actually wondering how they’re doing right now. Do they even miss me? Do they even want to be friends with me again? Do they even remember how good I was to them? I don’t know. Yeah, right. I just mentioned above that everybody deserves a second chance but I am not totally sure how I can handle the situation. Especially if it’s only me who wants to have a second chance.

Fifth thing is, my lovelife. YES! I feel that I am being unfair with my boyfriend for having these thoughts and I can’t help myself from thinking that he is already capable of hurting me anytime he wants. I am so into him. I really have fallen so deeply inlove with him. The problem is with me. I can see his efforts and his love for me but I can’t help myself from being paranoid. I am scared to get hurt again. We already talked about this and he assured me he’s not like the guys I used to cared for. I wanted him to know how sorry I am for doubting his love for me.

Lastly, right now I am thinking how can I change for the better. Where will I start? Like what I always say, all I want i to be happy but why is it everytime I feel like I am contented something will happen to ruin the moment?

I guess you’re right! I am your drama queen! If you want the title I’d be very much willing to give it to you. Hey! Seriously, I just can’t keep these thoughts with myself alone. Sorry if I bored you. Thanks for reading anyway.

P.S.

Despite these things bothering me I still know I am very blessed and loved. SMILE GANDA. SMILE.